2011 :')

Several hours left to 2012. As usual, I will write the kaleidoscopes during 2011 and a little bit of my resolution in 2012. So many sweet and bitter things, happy and sad moments passed during 2011. Perhaps this year is the most unexpected year. Maybe 2011 is my year. Because in this year I had to fight for my national exam and test to college.

In January 2011, I went to kebun Raya Cibodas, Bogor with my beloved schoolmates. That place is sooooo wonderful! If I could, I wanna stay there longer.  Unluckily, the weather wasn’t support us for doing some refreshing. But, it wasn’t inhibit us to do some happiness things and took many pictures haha

In March 2011, I followed a scholarship test in ITT Telkom for my alternative but I couldn’t pass it. I didn’t too mind it. Since the first time I felt pessimist because the test including my enemy: physics!

In March also, I went to my dream college with my bestfriend. Yap we had the same dream university but different major. We took many pictures in our own dream faculty and we dreamed how if this place could be our college, our place for study. Hmm dream, that’s just dream :’)

In April 2011, all of third grade senior high school students followed national exam. This is the last time I gathered with my schoolmates in formal time, completely. How I truly miss my senior high school’s time. If people said that senior high school’s time is the greatest time, the most beautiful time, the most wonderful time, that’s true! :’)

In May 2011, announcement national exam’s result! Can you guess? Yeah of course al of third grade student in my school passed it. But in May, there’s the bitterest thing I ever felt. The bitterest thing is when I didn’t pass snmptn undangan and any other test for pmdk. Yeah at that time I had to fight harder for getting my dream college. I also had to change my dream college which is ITB with another college in the same major. Hmm that’s the hardest thing to do, I think. Because that’s my dream since I was in junior high school.

Last day in May, I followed snmptn tulis. That’s the first day. I felt pessimist because the questions is out of my expectation. So many mistakes were found on my answer. Argh, that’s really a black day ever. Gosh!

in May also there's the last moment with my schoolmates, pawidya :')

in may, after try out me and my course friends took some photos

June 2011. snmptn, my birthday and the red letter day. In the first day, that’s the second day of snmptn tulis. I just could pray more at that time. 10^th is my birthday! \^^/ my prayer was come true in the last day of June :’)

Last day in June, the best moment I ever felt! The sweetest moment is when I passed snmptn tulis. You must believe that in every cloud has a silver lining! It happened to me. I failed in snmptn undangan but God has another best plan, I passed snmptn tulis in a college I want. My mother burst into tears at that time. Thanks God, finally I saw the best smiles from my parents :’)

July 2011, i got this from my parents as a snmptn present :D

August 2011, first time to college, mabim, and other exhausting activities. Pfffft. Wait waiiiit, thanks God I found them :’)

September-October 2011, the final report of practicum and mabim’s task made me busy and forgot the time. Imagine, three months felt like 1 week. Oh my God.. they really diverted my life o.0 but in this month, all of pharmacy student passed mabim, yaaaay! 

Ah ya, in this month also i joined as staff for PRAMA

November 2011, OOTRAD at unpad dipati ukur \^^/

December 2011, I followed final exam. It left panda’s eyes on me since I had to study until dawn. I wish I can get the best result from my first final exam in college. Aamiin >.<
and I met again my schoolmaaates












yaa must more grateful, this year better than 2010 :') hope next year will much better than this year

Kisah Seorang Kakek dan Dagangannya

Salah satu temanku posting mengenai hal ini di group facebook. Di kampusku tercinta, di Jatinangor, ada seorang kakek tua yang sering berjualan keliling kampus. Aku pun sering melihatnya di fakultasku. Kasihan memang, melihat seorang kakek yang sudah tua dan renta menyodorkan barang dagangannya ke mahasiswa di sana. Setiap ada kumpul angkatan, pasti ada kakek itu menawarkan barang dagangannya dengan suara yang pelan dan nyaris tak terdengar. Terkadang aku tak tega melihatnya berjualan keliling kampus yang super luas hemm inilah kerasnya hidup.
cerita lebih lanjut>>

read this

Sebuah Cerita Tentang Kuliah

Lama nih ga nulis, sibuk kuliah dan tugas, belum lagi waktu pas masa-masa ospek dulu *derita mahasiswa tingkat awal*
setelah kurang lebih 5 bulan menggeluti carut marut kehidupan kampus, aku merasa semuanya jauh sangat berbeda dengan kehidupan putih-abu. salah, jika anda mengira kuliah itu sesantai yang ditayangkan di ftv-ftv stasiun tv swasta. bisa haha-hihi kapan aja, bisa pulang kapan aja, bisa nongkrong kapan aja, banyak waktu kosong dan sebagainya. *kalau jadwal kuliah nyantei apa engga sih itu gimana fakultasnya*. Berhubung aku berada di fakultas yang tingkat kesibukan dan kepadatan jadwalnya tinggi jadi ya ga ngerasain hal itu.

Kuliah. hm kuliah..

ekspektasinya sih ya itu tadi yg kaya di ftv-ftv. Tapi....

kuliah itu ga sempet belajar di rumah

kuliah itu ga sempet main

kuliah itu bikin jurnal terus

kuliah itu bikin lapak terus

kuliah itu bikin ngebatin terus

kuliah itu ga tidur

kuliah itu tidur waktu dosen nerangin

kuliah itu deg-degan takut sebelumnya ada kuis

kuliah itu utsnya suram

kuliah itu bikin jajan terus
kuliah itu ngecengin senior

Belum lagi waktu masuk ke masa-masa jenuh. Rasanya males ngerjain apa-apa. Bawaannya pengen tidur mulu lah, main lah, dsb. Dan.. yang lebih saya rasakan adalah individualisme. Setiap orang berlomba-lomba untuk mendapatkan apa yang mereka mau dengan caranya sendiri. Mau ada temen yang ketinggalan kek, apa kek, ini kek, itu kek, ga peduli yang penting tercapai. Tapi hal itu ga terlalu mencolok sih di fakultas saya karena waktu mabim diajarkan untuk peduli *walaupun hanya terasa pada masa itu*

Ada lagi, berjam-jam di lab menjadi hal yang biasa sekarang. Bahkan nanti mungkin ada yang nyampe seharian. Jadi, ini belum seberapa. Masih banyak hal yang lebih berat di depan sana yang mau tak mau harus dihadapi.

Tapi, di lain sisi aku punya pewarna baru yang bikin semangat waktu lagi males, bikin senyum waktu lagi sedih, dan siap membantu kalau ada kesulitan,

Agak aneh memang tulisan kali ini, tidak terstruktur. Ya ini efek nulis di tengah mengerjakan tugas #alibi. *lanjut mengerjakan tugas*

Every Cloud Has a Silver Lining

This year is a determiner of my future. In this year I was graduated from high school and continued my study to the university. In fact, go to university isn’t easy. I found some difficulties at this.

Two months ago, finally me and all my school friends passed the national exam. no one didn’t pass it. It meant I must decided the university that I wanted. In this year also, the national selection for college entrance or SNMPTN in bahasa, separated into two, SNMPTN undangan and SNMPTN tulis. SNMPTN undangan is selection without any test but selected based on report mark and we can choose two university and three majoring in each university as our choices. SNMPTN tulis is selection with test like every year before. But, not all students could join SNMPTN undangan. Students who could join this selection is just student who included in rank 1-20 constantly since semester three until semester five. Luckily I could join SNMPTN undangan and in that time one of my university choices is ITB, my dream university, majoring pharmacy.

Actually, I felt pessimist that I could pass SNMPTN undangan, because there were so many competitor in this selection and usually mark of foreign student is bigger than student in the capital city. When I wait for the result, I joined selection for scholarship and selection based on report mark or PMDK (Penelusuran Minat dan Kemampuan in bahasa) at some university for the preparation if I didn’t pass at anywhere. Unfortunately, I failed at all, so I really wished I could pass SNMPTN undangan. Then, when the result of SNMPTN undangan came out, what I had thought was right. I didn’t pass SNMPTN undangan. it meant I must fought in SNMPTN tulis.

In the first time I got the result, I tried to not feel blue because from the beginning I had felt pessimist. But, when some of my classmates told me that they passed it, I started to turn green with envy and then burst into tears. They could get their dream university easily, without any test. Then my mom calm me down and said “Maybe it isn’t your way to raise your dream, calm down, you still can join SNMPTN tulis and more careful to choose the choices.” Because of that result, my mom asked me to replace my choice. Of course it was very difficult for me replacing my dream since I was in junior high school. I really confused either I keep choose my dream university or follow my mom’s advice. I also asked for guide by istikharah. After I did istikharah, I felt more confidence to follow my mom advice, because the blessing of God is the blessing of parents. I worried I would regret my decision if I didn’t follow my mom’s advice. So, I decided for choose another university that has lower passing grade than ITB as my choice in the same major, although I knew that interested people in this university isn’t too different with ITB. After that, I tried to study harder for raising it.

The day that SNMPTN tulis would be held was came. First day of SNMPTN tulis I felt depressed because the questions were out of my estimate. It was really a bolt from the blue. Then, when I arrived at home, I matched my answers with answers from a course. I found many mistakes in my answers. That day became a black day ever. Next, I did the test in second day with my best. After finished the test I just could pray more, wished for the best. I was afraid to see the result when the day which it would be announced, because I felt a little bit traumatic since the announcement of SNMPTN undangan result. In every cloud there’s a silver lining. That day was a red letter day since I passed SNMPTN tulis. I felt very touched because finally I saw my parents’ proud smile. I don’t know what I could be if I didn’t follow my mom’s advice. Finally I become a college student now :') 
and it's the best birthday present i've ever get, thanks Allah :')

do you? are you?

do you ever miss me?
I mean trully, aching in bottom-of-your-heart pain, which you just cant ignore?
because that's how i feel, every single day

-tumblr

if you've ever been in love

*exactly

It should be ...

tebak kawan hari ini tanggal berapa? yap tanggal 27 Juni 2011. Emang ada apa di tanggal 27 Juni? baca aja deh di postingan aku sebelum-sebelumnya *nanya sendiri, jawab sendiri* :p

harusnya malem ini seneng
harusnya malem ini bahagia
harusnya malem ini hari paling berkesan
harusnya malem ini ga galau
harusnya malem ini ga sedih
harusnya malem ini malem paling indah
harusnya malem ini ...
harusnya, harusnya, ya harusnya ...

andai aja kejadian 9 bulan yang lalu ga terjadi *nahloh apaan tuh udah 9 bulan* pasti kalimat-kalimat yang diatas itu ga pake 'harusnya'.
Setelah berpikir, menimbang dan merenung, aku sadar apa yang telah aku lakuin (red: galau) selama ini hanya membuang waktu. Ya, ini memang hal sulit. Bagaimana aku bisa lupa begitu saja kalo apa-apa yang bareng dia selalu berkesan dan bikin susah lupa. Gimana kita ketemu, gimana kita deket, gimana dia bilang kata" itu, gimana kita bareng-bareng, gimana kita marahan, gimana kita pisah, gimana... banyak deh.

Aku tau mungkin apa yang udah aku lakuin ini berlebihan. Harusnya aku lebih ikhlas, lebih sabar, lebih kuat. Mungkin sekarang dia kesel, ga suka atau kecewa gara-gara aku begini. Dia udah percaya banget kalo aku bisa kuat dan bisa nerima semuanya, tapi apa yang telah aku lakuin? Ternyata selama ini aku belum bisa sekuat itu. Aku selalu berusaha buat lebih ikhlas, sabar dan kuat namun belum menghasilkan hasil yang signifikan *halah*

Maaf kalo selama itu aku bikin kecewa kamu. Doain aku terus ya hei kamu suapaya aku bisa lebih kuat dan ikhlas. Aku ga mau ngecewain kamu, ngerusak kepercayaan kamu, ya aku ga pernah mau!
Ikhlas, ikhlas, ikhlas ayo Lalaaaa! semangaaat! Ga akan ada yang ngerubah ini semua selain diri kamu sendiri. Let it flow, make it easy. 'cause everything will beautiful at its time *kalimat yang terakhir ini agak maksa tapi biarin* :D

welcome 18 :)

Sekarang aku sedang berada di penghujung umur 17. Yap! Dalam hitungan jam, 18 akan segera datang. Waktu setahun itu tak terasa, suka duka berhasil dilewati walupun tak selalu seperti yang diinginkan. Ada yang beda di tahun ini, ada yang hilang *selain umur*. Tapi yaa sudahlah, mungkin itu yang terbaik :)

Ga banyak berharap di tahun ini. Aku hanya ingin lulus SNMPTN tulis 2011 di pilihan pertama dan bisa melihat senyum bangga yang tergambar di wajah kedua orang tuaku saat aku lulus di tempat yang terbaik bagiku untuk melanjutkan pendidikan. Aamiin Ya Rabbal Alamin..